I’m sorry, I have to ask. Are you blocking your clarity? Clarity is not only affected by negative thinking. It’s also affected by giving into distractions, perfectionism, and overthinking. I’m learning to decrease these 3 things so that I can maintain a clear mind that acts when I have a great idea or insight. 

Distractions

It’s hard though. Just now I had a great idea on what to write and I jumped out of my seat and headed for the kitchen. What was that all about? I didn’t need anything. So I let the dog out and headed back to my computer to write.

Distractions like that wreck clarity. How can I maintain my thoughts and write great things if my first distraction is going aimlessly into the kitchen?

It’s an aimless act, so next I’ll see a cookie and perhaps I’ll impulsively eat it. Or I’ll go for the cheese.

Then I’ll wander back to my chair and instead of starting to write, I might log onto social media and start scrolling. Then I’ll jump to YouTube. Doh. Wasn’t I supposed to be writing?

Distracted from next steps

It works the same way with tasks that are related to finding clarity for next steps. Where’s the brain power to think about possible next steps when instead of brainstorming next steps or taking next steps we let our brain distract us.

It helps if you know what to do to find clarity (career clarity and coping when you lack clarity). If you know what to do, you have a way to redirect yourself to when you find yourself letting in too many distractions.

Am I blocking my clarity? If I let distractions reign, there’s no blog post, or there’s a really unclear blog post.

Are you blocking your clarity? If distractions are in control, your clarity is affected.

You might also say something similar for perfectionism.

Perfectionism

I got this one covered. Now I just need to learn how to let that perfectionism go. There’s something satisfying about the idea of presenting a perfect product. However, can we learn to let the imperfect product satisfy?

The more I learn about acting on the goals I am setting, the more I realize that it’s not about perfection. It’s about getting started.

Think about it from the perspective of a writer.

If I only wrote when I had the perfect words, I would never write. When I write, my clarity comes as I work the words out. I only know what I am going to say as I work it out as I am writing.

This is a helpful concept to remember, because I think we have this idea that clarity means knowing it all and being perfect.

Waiting to be perfect before taking a next step

If I wait till things are perfect before I start, I might not ever start. If I wait for the perfect plan to take shape before I take a step towards my goals, I might not ever take a step. I might not ever realize what the next step is, because I’m hung up on being perfect.

If we wait for perfection, or only want to release something we create when it’s perfect, we could be hindering our clarity on what might come after the step of letting them out into the world.

Am I blocking my clarity? If I let perfectionism control, I would not have launched this website when I did. If I only allowed what is perfect out into the world, I would never have played a live music show and the songs that I’ve written that I’ve posted online would never have been shared. You can listen to them here in all their perfect imperfection.

Are you blocking your clarity? If perfectionism is in control, your clarity is affected.

The results of overthinking are similar to distractions and perfections.

Overthinking

The ability to see things from different perspectives is a good skill. However, when the thinking prevents action or creates fear of what decision to make, it could be due to overthinking.

I’m getting better at stopping myself when I notice I’m overthinking. Yet, to stop overthinking can be difficult. To stop overthinking about something means that you stop trying to control it.

I don’t know about you, but when I’m overthinking it is usually because I am trying to figure it out or control the outcome.

Overthinking instead of acting on next steps

Overthinking when it comes to an area we are looking for clarity in prevents that clarity from happening.

If we constantly think about what the best (dare I say, perfect) next step is we might not ever take a step. If we constantly try to figure out how to control the situation by overthinking everything, we might miss some helpful insights.

Overthinking blocks insights? Think about it. If our brain focuses on figuring something out, or needing to have the answer, or thinking about what could happen, or why something didn’t happen…where is the room for new thoughts and insights?

Am I blocking my clarity? If I’m not backing away from the situation and providing time for quiet, I am at risk of overthinking. If I overthink, I might miss that opportunity to go-go now-when that God sent answer to prayer comes along.

Are you blocking your clarity? If overthinking crowds your mind, your clarity is affected.

Clarity can grow

The good news is that clarity can grow! Let’s start thinking about our lack of clarity in a new way.

Distractions, perfectionism, and overthinking don’t have to have to the last words in our minds. I am learning to allow more opportunities for clarity to grow in my life. You can grow clarity also.

We can learn to manage and minimize distractions. We can learn to let go of being perfect at the expense of hiding ourselves or our work. We can learn to stop overthinking and open ourselves to new and life changing thoughts.

It’s not a lack of clarity. It’s a growing clarity.

Are you ready to start growing more clarity? Share your thoughts in the comment section.

Behavior Challenge:  Pick one of the three clarity blockers-distractions, perfectionism, or overthinking. Focus on what you can do to grow your clarity by changing one of the ways that you interact with one of these 3 clarity blockers.

When I focused on the negative, all that I lacked, I made my problem bigger. When I consistently focused on negative thoughts, all that I didn’t have, I gave those thoughts power. The negative thoughts gained power in my life when they had a constant presence in my mind. Negativity affected my ability to gain clarity.

What do we mean when we say we want clarity? In my journey it meant that I wanted a clear path and a clear destination. Why did I want that clear path and clear destination? I wanted certainty that I was heading in the right direction. I wanted to feel like I knew where I was going and how to get there.

The most obvious area that I wanted clarity in was my career. Yet, as I started to look at the course of my life I realized that I also needed clarity on what goals to pursue. I needed clarity on what kinds of goals I should set and why.

In reflecting on my life, I notice that the times where I felt the most disconnected from any progress in my life were also the times I gave negativity free reign in my mind. I unknowingly got caught in the negativity trap.

The negativity trap

What is the negativity trap? Here are some insights based on my own experience and observations. We let in one negative thought about our situation and we don’t let it go or reframe it. Once that negative thought is running around our brain, unsupervised so to speak, it can lead to more and more negative thoughts. The negativity trap can even make you feel bad for thinking negative thoughts, which leads to negative thoughts about yourself. This is the trap.

Let’s break the negativity trap down more. The more the negative thoughts have free reign in our mind, the more power they gain. We believe those thoughts. When we start to believe the negative thoughts, their power grows. When the negative thoughts gain power they slowly drown out our clarity.

How does it drown out our clarity? This is what I’ve experienced. When I was in the negativity trap I grew more and more uncertain. Uncertain that I made the right decisions, uncertain that my life could make a difference, uncertain that I had the courage it would take to make the big changes, uncertain that I could even figure out the next step.

In my case, I stayed focused on all that I didn’t have instead of being thankful for all I did have. Instead of learning to use what I had in positive ways I focused on all that I wasn’t able to do because of all that I lacked.

Negativity affected my ability to gain clarity. I finally realized what my negative thoughts were doing and I learned to let positivity grow instead. I added a couple practices to my life: reframing my negative thoughts and writing down affirmations. In looking at the positive I started to gain more clarity.

Positivity affects clarity

Positivity affects clarity because we break free from the trappings of negative thoughts. When free of negative thoughts, we can slowly begin to see what is possible.

For me, I grew more certain when I focused on the positive. Certain that I could weigh the pros and cons of important decisions. Certain that I could find a career that embraced my meaning and purpose. Certain that I had the courage to make big changes. Certain that the next step was in sight.

I started being grateful for my experiences and thinking about how I could use what I know. I recognized that I had more than I thought I did and I sought ways to use what I had.

When we are grateful and look at the world and ourselves in a positive manner we clear the path and make way for our destination to emerge. I gain clarity as I grow more positive.

Focus on clarity

In this post I have shared my experience with a lack of clarity being tied to falling into the negativity trap. Negativity affected my ability to gain clarity.

I think it’s important to state that I don’t expect myself to never have a negative thought. However, when do, I am more able to stop myself from getting caught up in it and falling into the one negative thought after the other trap.

I use the practices mentioned above to prime myself for that which maintains a positive outlook. I also have guidance from my faith.

What do you think? Does the way we think and speak affect how we see the future?

There is no magic answer to finding clarity. It takes work.  Read more of what I have written on clarity in the following posts:

2 Ways to Cope When You Don’t Know the End Goal

How to Start Creating a Career Plan When You Lack Clarity

Do we need complete clarity before acting on something? This way of thinking seems smart. If we think of everything we are prepared for anything. Yet, this need to have everything figured out can actually hold us back.

From discouraged to coping.

When thinking about my career path, I used to think in the way mentioned above. I wanted to have a crystal clear path towards a perfect for me career, but I could never picture it. “What do you want to do?” was an incredibly frustrating question.  I was trying to answer with the end goal in mind. When I didn’t have a clear end goal I ended up discouraged.

Now when people ask me what I want to do, I have several possible answers. While the steps are not 100% clear, I am hopeful. Even though I don’t have it all figured out, it’s okay. I am learning to cope even when I don’t know the end goal.

Instead of feeling discouraged because I don’t have it all figured out, I am learning to see each career related decision as a path that opens my vision to where I should go next. I take each step in hopes that my clarity grows. I found Jenny Blake’s book Pivot helpful for developing this focus on one step at a time (you can find great pivot resources here).

I am learning to use 2 coping skills for a lack of clarity.

2 ways to cope when you don’t know the end goal:

Be where you are. It is very easy when you dream of doing something else to focus on that dream, or to focus on anything other than where you are. This makes things worse. The most depressed days of my career search were those days where I let myself get caught up in the struggle of not wanting to be where I was, but not knowing where I wanted to be.

The first thing I would tell someone who is struggling with clarity and not liking where they are is to focus on what is good about your current job and how you can enjoy it while you are there. If you want help navigating the change situation while still showing up where you are, read Jon Acuff’s book Do Over (you can find his books here).

This is a great resource even if you aren’t currently struggling with clarity. Do Over has great information on how to build what Jon Acuff calls a career savings account. We are all going to need to change jobs sooner or later for any of the reasons he talks about in his book. He is also really good at reminding his reader that it is important to show up where you are.

Talk about it.

When I lacked career clarity I really didn’t want to talk about anything related to my work search, because it put me face to face with my lack of clarity. Yet a common theme in the books I read to improve myself was that we need input from other people.

Sometimes others help us process a decision we are considering to see if our decision fits our goals. Sometimes others help us figure out what direction we need to go, simply by listening to us talk it out.

Talking about your lack of clarity can be freeing. The more I shared with people that I didn’t know what to do, the more I found that I was not the only one struggling with a lack of clarity.

Remember the 2 Coping Skills.

When we’re tempted to focus on the end goal at the expense of looking at what we can do where we are, let’s stop and refocus. Let’s be where we are.

When we’re tempted to hide behind our unknowns at the expense of feeling like we’re the only one’s struggling with clarity, let’s share our struggles with those we trust. Let’s stop and talk about it.

Read my post How to start creating a career plan when you lack clarity.

Do you find it easy or difficult to share your lack of clarity with others?

What do you think? Leave me a comment.

Trying to move forward when you are constantly focused on all that you should have done or on everything that you think you cannot do limits what you can accomplish. Instead of focusing on all that is not yet happening in your life, focus on what you can do to get there. Goal setting is important to personal growth. Affirmations influence goal setting. Focusing on what and where you want to be, in a positive way, can help you along the goal setting journey.

In my post, How Goal Setting Triggered a Life Change, I wrote about the differences between setting goals and making a resolution. I also wrote that goal setting is an attitude change that is helped by 1) reframing limiting beliefs 2) developing a personal reflection habit and 3) giving yourself permission to stand out.

If you haven’t read, How Goal Setting Triggered a Life Change, read it now.

Trade in the negative thoughts about yourself for affirmations.

Overcoming negative self-talk.

Sometimes it is difficult to change limiting beliefs, because they are ingrained and have become our default way of thinking. In my struggle to overcome these negative voices, the voices that want me to focus on everything I still lack, I write daily affirmation statements.

Affirmations are cool, y’all. They work in the same way as my driving a certain car brings to my attention all the other sightings of my kind of car. It is this type of experience…with your thoughts.

What does it look like to focus on affirmations?

Here’s an example where daily affirmations influence goal setting.

Let’s say that one of your goals is to start your own business, but one of your limiting beliefs is an ingrained belief from years of telling yourself that you don’t have what it takes (i.e. you don’t have the money, or the time management skills, or leadership experience).

Let’s take the first statement, “I’ll never have enough money to start my own business.” The reframed belief could be, “I am working to raise my income to start my own business.” For some people, maybe this reframed belief will be enough. Yet, what if it is not?

Here are two ways to use an affirmation statement to focus your day in a positive way and reinforce the goal you want to work on:

• “I am a successful person capable of taking the steps necessary to increase my income and start creating the business of my dreams.”
• “I am making progress each day towards better management of the money I have.”

One is an overarching statement and two focuses on one step in improving your view of your money situation. Either is good. You might want to use type one some days and type two other days.

I find that I use a mixture of both kinds. Some days I focus on broad affirmations and other days I focus on step specific affirmations.

When I was getting started in goal setting, one of my regular affirmations was an overarching statement. It was a daily “I can do this” type statement.

Affirmations help you overcome those limiting beliefs.

Affirmations are fun.

The fun part of affirmations, for me, is two-fold:

• It focuses your brain on what you want to become and keeps you focused on the positive things that you are doing to better yourself and your situation.
• You start to see the world around you differently. Perhaps you start to see yourself differently.

Going back to the starting a business example and the affirmations I suggested. Let’s say that you started your day with the second affirmation on your mind, “I am making progress each day towards better management of the money I have.”

If you are focused on better management of your money, you are more likely to notice when you make a good financial decision in the midst of the day. If you notice the small financial wins, you gain the confidence to tackle the larger ones.

Affirmations help you focus on what and where you want to be.

Affirmations are positive thoughts you want to grow.

If you are trying to move forward and need help developing a positive view, give affirmations a try. If you have set a goal for something in the past and you are still struggling to meet the goal, try affirmations.

Affirmations are not magic. It might take months of focus on the same affirmation before you see any progress, but it’s a daily practice that has helped me.

I like looking back at the affirmations that I have focused on and how I have grown in each of those areas. If you try it, I hope you see some improvements are well.

If you want more help getting started with daily affirmations check out the 5 Minute Journal from Intelligent Change.

Behavior Challenge: Write one affirmation for the day. It can be related to a goal or a reframed limiting belief, or you can pick one area that you want to change how you think.

Comment on this post if you have any thoughts, questions, or want to leave me a note.