With all the distractions that we face on a daily basis we need to be intentional about personal reflection. Are we pursuing things because we want to pursue them or because we think that we should? How can we know ourselves on the deep level needed for personal growth, career clarity, and life fulfillment if we are constantly filling our time with television, social media, and various tasks? Do we decide on our next steps by considering who we are or do we follow what is typical behavior?

We need to take time to reflect. We need to stop and think.

When I don’t know what the next step is in one area of my life, it’s time to stop and think. I am noticing that this often means that I have let other things take my focus and attention or that my attention is being swayed by a limiting belief.

My lack of clarity becomes the cue for personal reflection.

I am working to develop a personal reflection habit to regularly engage those areas that I need more clarity in. Below are 3 tips from my experience so far. I wanted to share these tips in hopes that we can all become more intentional with our personal reflection.

Tips for Intentional Reflection

1.  Find a quiet area-you want to create the space for your mind to uncover the beliefs that aren’t from you or that are held together by limiting beliefs.

2. Listen with grace-you are a work in progress and being too hard on yourself for not catching this sooner will hinder your progress.

3. Do it in steps-you took in these ideas over time and recovering your hold on the truth can take some time as well.

I hope these 3 tips for intentional reflection will get you started with developing your personal reflection  habit.

Here’s to gaining clarity about our behavior.

Here’s to gaining clarity for next steps.

Questions: Is there an area in your life that would benefit from intentional reflection? Are there beliefs that were picked up from the world around you that aren’t truly how you want to act or believe?

Behavior Challenge: Find some quiet this week and give yourself time to think and reflect on one of your current struggles. See if you can identify one reason you are struggling in this area. Go deep into the reflection. The surface answer is a good start, but the challenge is to dig into the layers below the surface.

Comment on this post if you are ready to try some personal reflection.

Have you ever caught yourself saying or thinking something negative towards yourself?

I’m not good at ___.

I’m too old/young for ___.

I never know what to do.

Every time we think or speak such a statement we set limits on ourselves.

We create barriers made of our negative and limiting thoughts.

A limiting belief is a belief that we hold about ourselves, others, or the world that creates a barrier between our desire to change and our ability to act on that change.

If your go-to thought is rooted in negativity, doubt, or fear you will end up stuck. Those thoughts become deep rooted and automatic. They are barriers to progress and success.

This is why we should care. Negative thoughts and limiting thoughts are barriers that keep us from moving forward and doing great things!

Knock down the barriers with positive and empowering thoughts.

The best part about discovering your limiting beliefs is realizing that you can change how your mind views them. They don’t have to stay negative thoughts that hold you back. You can reframe them and use them as motivation.

I’m not good at ___.  —->  I am learning ___.

I’m too old/young for ___. —->  I am experienced/I have new insights and I can add value.

I never know what to do. —-> I might sometimes feel uncertain, but I have done ___ in the past, and I can do ___ now.

These are just a few examples of how this process can go. Try it out!

They don’t call it a limiting belief for nothing.

I’m not a master at focusing on the positive thoughts over the limiting beliefs, but I can tell when I am remembering the positive thoughts and when I am focused on a limiting belief.

Just the other day I was talking to a friend and out popped a limiting belief. That limiting belief flew out of my mouth without hesitation. As soon as I heard my friend’s response, I knew I had spoken a limiting belief. I quickly rephrased my statement.

We all give in to our negative thoughts. The first step to overcoming those limiting beliefs is to notice when we are leaning on a limiting belief. When we are letting limiting beliefs keep us from progress.

It can be a real struggle to overcome those ingrained negative beliefs. Maybe it will be easy for some of you. If you’re like me, however, I believed all those negative thoughts for so long that recalling them became a force of habit-a habit that I needed to break.

Breaking bad habits isn’t easy, but there comes a time when it must be done.

Are you with me?

Questions: What makes a thought a limiting belief? Can you identify your top 3 limiting beliefs?

Behavior Challenge: When you catch yourself speaking or thinking a limiting belief, reframe it right then and there. Share your story in the comments by clicking the post title or here.

Please comment with any thoughts or questions related to this post.

Resources: I first heard about limiting beliefs and liberating truths from Michael Hyatt, the former CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishers and now online leadership mentor. He speaks about limiting beliefs and liberating truths in his online goal setting course Your Best Year Ever.

For an online resource directly related to limiting beliefs you can go here.

There are many different ways to spend your money or time. Consider all the activities and purchases you have made in the last year. How many were focused on personal growth? Investing in yourself will often come last if we don’t intentionally make it happen. Our minds are focused on other things.

I was focused on financial, nutritional, health and fitness, and career stressors. I focused on my spiritual growth and building up a group of supportive friends. Yet an area that was lacking was personal growth.

I sent all my resources to survival.

Yet here’s the thing. I couldn’t really survive when I didn’t invest in myself. When I didn’t see Mary Blacklock as worth buying a $20 self-help book for (I had bills to pay!) I was unintentionally holding myself back. Buying those kinds of items, financial or career focused books, weren’t even considered. I was too lost in my stress and struggle.

When a big opportunity for personal growth came by, I was almost too scared to take it. I had already convinced myself that I was too far behind in life…that even if I had the money to invest in myself, it wouldn’t be worth it.

But I was wrong! That investment in myself was huge-it led me to my current path.

It sparked a desire in me to invest in myself more and more.

Investing in oneself is vastly important. As I reflect on the journey I’ve made, I’d love to share with you some of my thoughts on why personal growth is important.

• We pay for our academic education and personal growth is education of self. We spend a large amount of money on college or go into debt for our academic self, but we make excuses for why we can’t spend money when it comes to a large personal investment. Even when it will perhaps change our way of thinking and increase our happiness.

• You never know where investing in yourself will lead. When we invite ourselves to take in the wisdom of others through their books, podcasts, art, lectures, etc., we are inviting ourselves to begin a journey.

• Investing in yourself can help you balance your life. There are so many areas that we can learn and grow in. The areas that you are struggling with the most right now are the areas where you have the opportunity to grow.

Please comment below with any thoughts or questions related to this post.

Questions: Do you make an intentional effort to invest in yourself regularly and in different areas of life? Do you see an area that you might need to focus your investment on more intentionally?

Career clarity is something that we want, but it’s often times more difficult to achieve than we hope. Whether you lack career clarity due to the endless options in front of you or because you are fighting off discouragement, there is something you can do. When the path isn’t clear, don’t give up!

For many years, I have struggled with a lack of clarity and direction in my career. This lack of clarity and direction effected my personal life and I didn’t even realize it until I had broken free from the discouragement that was weighing me down.

How did I finally see what a lack of clarity was doing to myself? I did something big. I invested in myself. I paid for a goal setting course. I was terrified that the course wouldn’t even help me because I was too far behind.

However, that goal setting course started me on the journey that I am on today. The one that brought me here today. The one that pushed me to imagine the possibilities and embrace positive change.

It helped me to set personal goals and led me to start building a career plan even with my lack of clarity.

Here’s how you can start creating a career plan when you lack clarity:

Get to know yourself. This was a major realization for me as I went through the goal setting course. I knew that I didn’t know what I wanted to do for my job, but I didn’t know that I also lacked clarity in other areas of my life. I wanted to set goals for myself, but how could I know what goals to set if I didn’t know what was important to me? I started the process of getting to know myself.

Pick one area to focus on. There might be several areas that you want to explore after some personal reflection. Maybe you really want a job with more freedom in your work environment. Maybe you realize your interest in a certain subject and want to see if you can connect it to your career.

Take one step forward. It doesn’t have to be a big step. My first step was realizing that I had some negative thinking that I needed to free myself from as it was holding me back. Maybe your first step is interviewing people that are doing a job you’re curious about. Maybe your step forward is reading this blog or a career change book and joining the conversation. Whatever the step is for you, take it.

Trust the process. Trust me, I would love to say that all it takes is one shot at these steps and you’re on your way to perfect clarity. But I am still in the process of becoming clear on the direction that I want my career to go. It’s a constant process of getting to know myself, focusing on something I’ve learned, and taking a step.

In future posts I will share more of this journey with you. If you’re looking to invest in yourself and overcome your discouragement, you’re in good company.

Read my post on why personal growth important, here.

Please comment below with any thoughts or questions related to this post.

Questions: What is your area of focus? What would be a next step? Remember, a tiny step is still a step.