When we’re in the middle of a transition, or stuck waiting for the next transition, we might forget to express gratitude for what we already have. When we forget to express our gratitude our focus can get stuck on that which we lack. We can develop a mind focused on that which we want or need or on that which we haven’t gained or achieved. Let’s consider instead what we have already, what is enough, what we are doing well. We can develop a grateful mind.

Gratitude and Reframing Negative Thoughts

Sometimes our negative thoughts need gratitude to overcome their hold.

Reframing negative thoughts is a major task and one that I personally found challenging when I started setting goals and seeking clarity for next steps in my career.

It was an emotional task to face my limiting beliefs and see them as “bogus beliefs” (a phrase Michael Hyatt used in his lesson on limiting beliefs in his 5 Days to Your Best Year Ever course in 2017). Yet, when I started facing my bogus beliefs, I realized quickly that some of the reframing that I was struggling to live out needed the help of gratitude.

This realization of the importance of gratitude in overcoming negative beliefs led to my seeking out ways to remember to be grateful and to develop a grateful mind.

Practice Gratitude

One practice I began using to tackle bogus beliefs was to start my day thinking of three things that I could be grateful for. I thought about the previous day or found something in the current day to remember in gratitude.

Sometimes it was a detailed event or realization. Other times it was simply being thankful that I woke up or that I have a comfortable bed to sleep in. Whatever I was grateful for I wrote down in my journal.

Companies sell different types of gratitude journals. However, if you don’t want to buy a specific gratitude journal you can write what you are grateful for in a blank notebook. You can create your own gratitude journal. Mental notes about that which you are grateful for in a day might also work for some people.

However, if you want help getting started with a journaling practice and/or want help remembering to practice gratitude, consider using The 5 Minute Journal. This was the tool I used to get myself back into journaling in a more focused and positive manner.

The 5 Minute Journal also helped me develop my gratitude practice. It includes a morning section for identifying 3 things that you are grateful for as you start the day.

Develop a grateful mind

Developing a grateful mind can positively impact clarity and progress.

It removes the focus from all that we lack and encourages a refocusing on that which we do have.

I mentioned the importance of gratitude when I shared how negativity affected my clarity and when I wrote about using gratitude to embrace the small changes.

What does it take to practice gratitude and develop a grateful mind?

Do you use a gratitude journal and if so what journal do you use?

Answer the questions in the comments and leave a note on how you stay grateful.

Behavior Challenge: Gratitude is a type of reflection that can start anytime. Make a list of 3 things that you are grateful for.

On the journey of personal development it can be easy to focus solely on that which you want to improve or still struggle with. Sometimes we forget to celebrate or don’t notice when we take a step forward in an area we are working on. Embracing the small changes in your life can make a big difference. 

Embracing the small changes in relating to others

One area in my life where I see small changes happening continually is in the area of relationships. To someone on the outside, perhaps I seem like the same single lady I was a year ago, or even this morning, but I’m not.

A year ago, I was not embracing the small changes. I was too focused on not seeing the entire picture worked out in front of me at the snap of a finger. I had some healing and learning to do and I wanted it to happen right away-like yesterday.

Yet that attitude did not help me to heal or learn how to be a better person. Instead, it focused me on a need to control.

Small and internal changes are key to growth

How did I go from needing control to learning to let control go?

Prayer, other practices of my faith, and learning to be grateful along the way help me to let go of the need to control.

In the midst of my prayers, faith practices, and gratitude I am beginning to embrace the small changes that I notice in myself.

Perhaps no one else notices these small changes in how I approach a relationship. That’s okay. They are small and internal changes. However, the more I notice the small changes the more the small changes seem like big change.

This is how I heal and grow-one step, one change, one moment at a time. In hopes that the small changes will one day become so obvious that there’s no question at how far I have come.

Small changes can equal big change

If you start to embrace the small changes in your life they might start to feel like big changes. Small changes add up to big change.

Celebrating a small change can be as simple as writing it down in a gratitude journal or other type of reflection journal. It can be identifying a small change that you see and smiling about it. Perhaps you can share the change with someone you trust.

Noticing changes as they take place might mean stopping in the midst of the struggle and looking for the positive. Maybe it is taking a deep breathe and turning to God. It might mean taking an intentional look at where you are compared to where you were before.

Focusing on the small changes can help you stay positive and focused on that big change target.

Staying positive and focused

Stopping to celebrate a small change can help you stay away from negative thinking and can help your clarity as well. The growth from personal development comes with the struggles, small steps, and small changes that we make. Embracing the small changes in your life is a worthy goal.

What do you do to notice, celebrate, and embrace the small changes?

Comment on this post to share how you embrace the small changes in your life.

Behavior Challenge: Take note of a small change that you are making in an area that is important to you. Embrace the small change and celebrate it in a way that encourages you to keep changing. If it’s a bigger change from the result of several small changes, celebrate that too.

I’m sorry, I have to ask. Are you blocking your clarity? Clarity is not only affected by negative thinking. It’s also affected by giving into distractions, perfectionism, and overthinking. I’m learning to decrease these 3 things so that I can maintain a clear mind that acts when I have a great idea or insight. 

Distractions

It’s hard though. Just now I had a great idea on what to write and I jumped out of my seat and headed for the kitchen. What was that all about? I didn’t need anything. So I let the dog out and headed back to my computer to write.

Distractions like that wreck clarity. How can I maintain my thoughts and write great things if my first distraction is going aimlessly into the kitchen?

It’s an aimless act, so next I’ll see a cookie and perhaps I’ll impulsively eat it. Or I’ll go for the cheese.

Then I’ll wander back to my chair and instead of starting to write, I might log onto social media and start scrolling. Then I’ll jump to YouTube. Doh. Wasn’t I supposed to be writing?

Distracted from next steps

It works the same way with tasks that are related to finding clarity for next steps. Where’s the brain power to think about possible next steps when instead of brainstorming next steps or taking next steps we let our brain distract us.

It helps if you know what to do to find clarity (career clarity and coping when you lack clarity). If you know what to do, you have a way to redirect yourself to when you find yourself letting in too many distractions.

Am I blocking my clarity? If I let distractions reign, there’s no blog post, or there’s a really unclear blog post.

Are you blocking your clarity? If distractions are in control, your clarity is affected.

You might also say something similar for perfectionism.

Perfectionism

I got this one covered. Now I just need to learn how to let that perfectionism go. There’s something satisfying about the idea of presenting a perfect product. However, can we learn to let the imperfect product satisfy?

The more I learn about acting on the goals I am setting, the more I realize that it’s not about perfection. It’s about getting started.

Think about it from the perspective of a writer.

If I only wrote when I had the perfect words, I would never write. When I write, my clarity comes as I work the words out. I only know what I am going to say as I work it out as I am writing.

This is a helpful concept to remember, because I think we have this idea that clarity means knowing it all and being perfect.

Waiting to be perfect before taking a next step

If I wait till things are perfect before I start, I might not ever start. If I wait for the perfect plan to take shape before I take a step towards my goals, I might not ever take a step. I might not ever realize what the next step is, because I’m hung up on being perfect.

If we wait for perfection, or only want to release something we create when it’s perfect, we could be hindering our clarity on what might come after the step of letting them out into the world.

Am I blocking my clarity? If I let perfectionism control, I would not have launched this website when I did. If I only allowed what is perfect out into the world, I would never have played a live music show and the songs that I’ve written that I’ve posted online would never have been shared. You can listen to them here in all their perfect imperfection.

Are you blocking your clarity? If perfectionism is in control, your clarity is affected.

The results of overthinking are similar to distractions and perfections.

Overthinking

The ability to see things from different perspectives is a good skill. However, when the thinking prevents action or creates fear of what decision to make, it could be due to overthinking.

I’m getting better at stopping myself when I notice I’m overthinking. Yet, to stop overthinking can be difficult. To stop overthinking about something means that you stop trying to control it.

I don’t know about you, but when I’m overthinking it is usually because I am trying to figure it out or control the outcome.

Overthinking instead of acting on next steps

Overthinking when it comes to an area we are looking for clarity in prevents that clarity from happening.

If we constantly think about what the best (dare I say, perfect) next step is we might not ever take a step. If we constantly try to figure out how to control the situation by overthinking everything, we might miss some helpful insights.

Overthinking blocks insights? Think about it. If our brain focuses on figuring something out, or needing to have the answer, or thinking about what could happen, or why something didn’t happen…where is the room for new thoughts and insights?

Am I blocking my clarity? If I’m not backing away from the situation and providing time for quiet, I am at risk of overthinking. If I overthink, I might miss that opportunity to go-go now-when that God sent answer to prayer comes along.

Are you blocking your clarity? If overthinking crowds your mind, your clarity is affected.

Clarity can grow

The good news is that clarity can grow! Let’s start thinking about our lack of clarity in a new way.

Distractions, perfectionism, and overthinking don’t have to have to the last words in our minds. I am learning to allow more opportunities for clarity to grow in my life. You can grow clarity also.

We can learn to manage and minimize distractions. We can learn to let go of being perfect at the expense of hiding ourselves or our work. We can learn to stop overthinking and open ourselves to new and life changing thoughts.

It’s not a lack of clarity. It’s a growing clarity.

Are you ready to start growing more clarity? Share your thoughts in the comment section.

Behavior Challenge:  Pick one of the three clarity blockers-distractions, perfectionism, or overthinking. Focus on what you can do to grow your clarity by changing one of the ways that you interact with one of these 3 clarity blockers.

When I focused on the negative, all that I lacked, I made my problem bigger. When I consistently focused on negative thoughts, all that I didn’t have, I gave those thoughts power. The negative thoughts gained power in my life when they had a constant presence in my mind. Negativity affected my ability to gain clarity.

What do we mean when we say we want clarity? In my journey it meant that I wanted a clear path and a clear destination. Why did I want that clear path and clear destination? I wanted certainty that I was heading in the right direction. I wanted to feel like I knew where I was going and how to get there.

The most obvious area that I wanted clarity in was my career. Yet, as I started to look at the course of my life I realized that I also needed clarity on what goals to pursue. I needed clarity on what kinds of goals I should set and why.

In reflecting on my life, I notice that the times where I felt the most disconnected from any progress in my life were also the times I gave negativity free reign in my mind. I unknowingly got caught in the negativity trap.

The negativity trap

What is the negativity trap? Here are some insights based on my own experience and observations. We let in one negative thought about our situation and we don’t let it go or reframe it. Once that negative thought is running around our brain, unsupervised so to speak, it can lead to more and more negative thoughts. The negativity trap can even make you feel bad for thinking negative thoughts, which leads to negative thoughts about yourself. This is the trap.

Let’s break the negativity trap down more. The more the negative thoughts have free reign in our mind, the more power they gain. We believe those thoughts. When we start to believe the negative thoughts, their power grows. When the negative thoughts gain power they slowly drown out our clarity.

How does it drown out our clarity? This is what I’ve experienced. When I was in the negativity trap I grew more and more uncertain. Uncertain that I made the right decisions, uncertain that my life could make a difference, uncertain that I had the courage it would take to make the big changes, uncertain that I could even figure out the next step.

In my case, I stayed focused on all that I didn’t have instead of being thankful for all I did have. Instead of learning to use what I had in positive ways I focused on all that I wasn’t able to do because of all that I lacked.

Negativity affected my ability to gain clarity. I finally realized what my negative thoughts were doing and I learned to let positivity grow instead. I added a couple practices to my life: reframing my negative thoughts and writing down affirmations. In looking at the positive I started to gain more clarity.

Positivity affects clarity

Positivity affects clarity because we break free from the trappings of negative thoughts. When free of negative thoughts, we can slowly begin to see what is possible.

For me, I grew more certain when I focused on the positive. Certain that I could weigh the pros and cons of important decisions. Certain that I could find a career that embraced my meaning and purpose. Certain that I had the courage to make big changes. Certain that the next step was in sight.

I started being grateful for my experiences and thinking about how I could use what I know. I recognized that I had more than I thought I did and I sought ways to use what I had.

When we are grateful and look at the world and ourselves in a positive manner we clear the path and make way for our destination to emerge. I gain clarity as I grow more positive.

Focus on clarity

In this post I have shared my experience with a lack of clarity being tied to falling into the negativity trap. Negativity affected my ability to gain clarity.

I think it’s important to state that I don’t expect myself to never have a negative thought. However, when do, I am more able to stop myself from getting caught up in it and falling into the one negative thought after the other trap.

I use the practices mentioned above to prime myself for that which maintains a positive outlook. I also have guidance from my faith.

What do you think? Does the way we think and speak affect how we see the future?

There is no magic answer to finding clarity. It takes work.  Read more of what I have written on clarity in the following posts:

2 Ways to Cope When You Don’t Know the End Goal

How to Start Creating a Career Plan When You Lack Clarity