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Mary Blacklock - Pursue your dreams. One behavior change at a time.
Clarity

How to move forward in life

move forward in life

Change and growth means a lot of thought and work. The process to a better life isn’t always pretty and we might not want to talk about it. Before we succeed we might look like we are failing. Yet to move from our old way of life to our new way of life we need to admit that there is a problem. This is the first step to move forward in life.

Admitting there is a problem

Y’all, we are never going to change anything in our lives if we can’t admit that there’s a problem. This is the hard truth, written by someone that has experienced this first hand.

There was a time in my life where I experienced feeling stuck and hopeless.

I couldn’t improve my living situation, because I couldn’t improve my job situation. Yet, I’m going to take that further. I couldn’t improve my job situation, because I couldn’t improve my outlook on life.

I couldn’t improve my outlook on life, because I didn’t want to admit that there was a problem. So instead of making a change to move forward in life I did what might be happening to you, or to someone that you know.

I was running in circles instead of running forward.

Only when I admitted that there was a problem, could I begin to work towards solving that problem. This is what I believe happened to me in my faith journey as well.

Admitting that there is a problem continues to help move me forward in all areas of my life. Admitting that there is a problem is huge. If you can do that, you can start to move forward in life.

Another step to moving forward is what I call doing the work.

 Doing the work

Once we admit that there is a problem we can use that momentum to help us get unstuck by reflecting, changing how we think, and setting goals.

Yet somewhere in the progress of change, we realize that we have a plan or idea that we want to do, but we can’t seem to make it happen. Or we might know what we need to do or want to change, but we find it hard to act.

Personal growth sounds great until we realize that growth requires action.

Let’s admit that we often times want the learning of the skills needed to be enough to move us forward.

Yet no one grows into perfection overnight. The journey of behavior change takes time and commitment and practice. I find that is the same with my growth in faith as well.

Confronting what we want to change

In both cases we have to confront what it is in our life that we want to change and then seek out ways to change it. Growth and change are not magical experiences even when you are faced with a powerful faith experience, like I was, or a killer science based growth tool. You have to do the work.

Sometimes doing the work is messy or takes a long time. Sometimes we are doing the work and making progress, but to others it seems like we aren’t because they don’t have the full picture. They either don’t know where we started from or they can’t see the changes happening.

It’s in this space where it is important to acknowledge your small wins and seek out people who will listen to and celebrate your growth wins–no matter how small the wins are.

Move forward in life

In conclusion, the best way to move forward in life is to admit that there is a problem and stick with the work that needs to be done to solve the problem.

I hope that in sharing what has helped me move forward in life that others will gain some encouragement that there is hope for a better day.

Feeling stuck doesn’t have to be a permanent feeling.

As someone that tried time and time again to figure out the process of how to move forward in life, admitting that there is a problem and doing the work are the best steps that I know to take at this time.

Is there another step you would add that would help someone wanting to move forward?

Behavior Challenge: What is the easiest step that you could take right now to work on a goal that you made but are having a difficult time following through with?

 

In my last post, Faith and Behavior: Why do we keep faith and behavior quiet?, I stated that in this blog, I want to provide a safe place to share behavior change goals and growth. I also stated that I want to open the dialogue of faith and behavior. As I continue to figure out how this works in the format of this blog, I appreciate your thoughts and feedback.

Clarity

Embracing the small changes

Embracing the small changes

On the journey of personal development it can be easy to focus solely on that which you want to improve or still struggle with. Sometimes we forget to celebrate or don’t notice when we take a step forward in an area we are working on. Embracing the small changes in your life can make a big difference. 

Embracing the small changes in relating to others

One area in my life where I see small changes happening continually is in the area of relationships. To someone on the outside, perhaps I seem like the same single lady I was a year ago, or even this morning, but I’m not.

A year ago, I was not embracing the small changes. I was too focused on not seeing the entire picture worked out in front of me at the snap of a finger. I had some healing and learning to do and I wanted it to happen right away-like yesterday.

Yet that attitude did not help me to heal or learn how to be a better person. Instead, it focused me on a need to control.

Small and internal changes are key to growth

How did I go from needing control to learning to let control go?

Prayer, other practices of my faith, and learning to be grateful along the way help me to let go of the need to control.

In the midst of my prayers, faith practices, and gratitude I am beginning to embrace the small changes that I notice in myself.

Perhaps no one else notices these small changes in how I approach a relationship. That’s okay. They are small and internal changes. However, the more I notice the small changes the more the small changes seem like big change.

This is how I heal and grow-one step, one change, one moment at a time. In hopes that the small changes will one day become so obvious that there’s no question at how far I have come.

Small changes can equal big change

If you start to embrace the small changes in your life they might start to feel like big changes. Small changes add up to big change.

Celebrating a small change can be as simple as writing it down in a gratitude journal or other type of reflection journal. It can be identifying a small change that you see and smiling about it. Perhaps you can share the change with someone you trust.

Noticing changes as they take place might mean stopping in the midst of the struggle and looking for the positive. Maybe it is taking a deep breathe and turning to God. It might mean taking an intentional look at where you are compared to where you were before.

Focusing on the small changes can help you stay positive and focused on that big change target.

Staying positive and focused

Stopping to celebrate a small change can help you stay away from negative thinking and can help your clarity as well. The growth from personal development comes with the struggles, small steps, and small changes that we make. Embracing the small changes in your life is a worthy goal.

 

What do you do to notice, celebrate, and embrace the small changes?

Comment on this post to share how you embrace the small changes in your life.

 

Behavior Challenge: Take note of a small change that you are making in an area that is important to you. Embrace the small change and celebrate it in a way that encourages you to keep changing. If it’s a bigger change from the result of several small changes, celebrate that too.

Pursue your dreams.

One behavior change at a time.
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