Change and growth means a lot of thought and work. The process to a better life isn’t always pretty and we might not want to talk about it. Before we succeed we might look like we are failing. Yet to move from our old way of life to our new way of life we need to admit that there is a problem. This is the first step to move forward in life.

Admitting there is a problem

Y’all, we are never going to change anything in our lives if we can’t admit that there’s a problem. This is the hard truth, written by someone that has experienced this first hand.

There was a time in my life where I experienced feeling stuck and hopeless.

I couldn’t improve my living situation, because I couldn’t improve my job situation. Yet, I’m going to take that further. I couldn’t improve my job situation, because I couldn’t improve my outlook on life.

I couldn’t improve my outlook on life, because I didn’t want to admit that there was a problem. So instead of making a change to move forward in life I did what might be happening to you, or to someone that you know.

I was running in circles instead of running forward.

Only when I admitted that there was a problem, could I begin to work towards solving that problem. This is what I believe happened to me in my faith journey as well.

Admitting that there is a problem continues to help move me forward in all areas of my life. Admitting that there is a problem is huge. If you can do that, you can start to move forward in life.

Another step to moving forward is what I call doing the work.

 Doing the work

Once we admit that there is a problem we can use that momentum to help us get unstuck by reflecting, changing how we think, and setting goals.

Yet somewhere in the progress of change, we realize that we have a plan or idea that we want to do, but we can’t seem to make it happen. Or we might know what we need to do or want to change, but we find it hard to act.

Personal growth sounds great until we realize that growth requires action.

Let’s admit that we often times want the learning of the skills needed to be enough to move us forward.

Yet no one grows into perfection overnight. The journey of behavior change takes time and commitment and practice. I find that is the same with my growth in faith as well.

Confronting what we want to change

In both cases we have to confront what it is in our life that we want to change and then seek out ways to change it. Growth and change are not magical experiences even when you are faced with a powerful faith experience, like I was, or a killer science based growth tool. You have to do the work.

Sometimes doing the work is messy or takes a long time. Sometimes we are doing the work and making progress, but to others it seems like we aren’t because they don’t have the full picture. They either don’t know where we started from or they can’t see the changes happening.

It’s in this space where it is important to acknowledge your small wins and seek out people who will listen to and celebrate your growth wins–no matter how small the wins are.

Move forward in life

In conclusion, the best way to move forward in life is to admit that there is a problem and stick with the work that needs to be done to solve the problem.

I hope that in sharing what has helped me move forward in life that others will gain some encouragement that there is hope for a better day.

Feeling stuck doesn’t have to be a permanent feeling.

As someone that tried time and time again to figure out the process of how to move forward in life, admitting that there is a problem and doing the work are the best steps that I know to take at this time.

Is there another step you would add that would help someone wanting to move forward?

Behavior Challenge: What is the easiest step that you could take right now to work on a goal that you made but are having a difficult time following through with?

In my last post, Faith and Behavior: Why do we keep faith and behavior quiet?, I stated that in this blog, I want to provide a safe place to share behavior change goals and growth. I also stated that I want to open the dialogue of faith and behavior. As I continue to figure out how this works in the format of this blog, I appreciate your thoughts and feedback.

Talk about our behavior change goals is almost as non-existent as talk about our religious practices. Do we feel that we have to hide our behavior change goals? Do we feel that we have to hide our faith practices? For some people, faith and behavior might seem separate topics. Talk that connects the science of behavior change to our religious practices is limited. Why do we keep faith and behavior quiet?

Our religion is very close to us so it’s sometimes difficult to share it with others, because we are certain that others wouldn’t understand. It’s easier to stay quiet.

We tend to view our behavior in this same manner. Therefore, very few people know what we are working to change in ourselves and we want to keep it that way.

Sharing is risky

Why do we not share what we are working on in ourselves? Could it be that we are worried that, similar to telling others of our religious beliefs, we might be viewed as weak? Or that we might be misunderstood?

3 thoughts that prevent us from sharing our behavior change journey with others:

1) People will judge me based on what I am currently working to change. We are afraid that people will say or think things like, “You’re still working on that?” or “How can someone like you struggle with something like that?” Admitting that we’re not perfect can leave us feeling vulnerable.

2) If people find out that I’m working on _____ they will expect me to act like I’ve already changed that area. We fear being held accountable for a skill that we haven’t yet mastered. We don’t want people to throw our change goals in our face. “I thought you said were working on _____”.

3) If I admit that I am working on _____ maybe my boss will think I’m not a good a candidate for the promotion. Similar to fearing judgement, we can fear being viewed as incapable due to sharing what we want to improve.

There might be other reasons that we hold back what we are working on from other people. There also might be things that keep us from sharing how our faith impacts our behavior.

Faith and behavior

In an effort to open the dialogue of faith and behavior, I want to share my experience with living out my faith practices and how it affects my behavior change goals.

However, this is such a huge topic that I won’t be able to do it justice in one article. Consider this the first of articles and other possible media where I begin to discuss how my Christian faith fits into the process of behavior change.

To begin, I offer you a brief summary of how I currently see this process working in my life.

As I seek out and apply science based behavior change practices, my faith guides me to those practices that align with my faith. I am learning that my Christian faith often prepares me for some of the science based strategies. This isn’t too much of a surprise if you really think about it.

It’s my first summary statement so it will probably grow with me. Do you have a summary statement?

You can share here

I want this blog to be a safe space for people to share their behavior change goals. I also want to provide a safe space to learn how to talk about faith and behavior.

Did I miss any reasons why we don’t share our behavior change goals with the people around us?

If you think of a reason not listed, share your reason in the comments.

Behavior Challenge: Write your own summary of how you currently view the interaction of faith and behavior in your life.

Read more of my articles:

Why is Personal Growth Important?

Why is Behavior Change Important for Personal Growth?

Embracing the small changes