On the journey of personal development it can be easy to focus solely on that which you want to improve or still struggle with. Sometimes we forget to celebrate or don’t notice when we take a step forward in an area we are working on. Embracing the small changes in your life can make a big difference. 

Embracing the small changes in relating to others

One area in my life where I see small changes happening continually is in the area of relationships. To someone on the outside, perhaps I seem like the same single lady I was a year ago, or even this morning, but I’m not.

A year ago, I was not embracing the small changes. I was too focused on not seeing the entire picture worked out in front of me at the snap of a finger. I had some healing and learning to do and I wanted it to happen right away-like yesterday.

Yet that attitude did not help me to heal or learn how to be a better person. Instead, it focused me on a need to control.

Small and internal changes are key to growth

How did I go from needing control to learning to let control go?

Prayer, other practices of my faith, and learning to be grateful along the way help me to let go of the need to control.

In the midst of my prayers, faith practices, and gratitude I am beginning to embrace the small changes that I notice in myself.

Perhaps no one else notices these small changes in how I approach a relationship. That’s okay. They are small and internal changes. However, the more I notice the small changes the more the small changes seem like big change.

This is how I heal and grow-one step, one change, one moment at a time. In hopes that the small changes will one day become so obvious that there’s no question at how far I have come.

Small changes can equal big change

If you start to embrace the small changes in your life they might start to feel like big changes. Small changes add up to big change.

Celebrating a small change can be as simple as writing it down in a gratitude journal or other type of reflection journal. It can be identifying a small change that you see and smiling about it. Perhaps you can share the change with someone you trust.

Noticing changes as they take place might mean stopping in the midst of the struggle and looking for the positive. Maybe it is taking a deep breathe and turning to God. It might mean taking an intentional look at where you are compared to where you were before.

Focusing on the small changes can help you stay positive and focused on that big change target.

Staying positive and focused

Stopping to celebrate a small change can help you stay away from negative thinking and can help your clarity as well. The growth from personal development comes with the struggles, small steps, and small changes that we make. Embracing the small changes in your life is a worthy goal.

What do you do to notice, celebrate, and embrace the small changes?

Comment on this post to share how you embrace the small changes in your life.

Behavior Challenge: Take note of a small change that you are making in an area that is important to you. Embrace the small change and celebrate it in a way that encourages you to keep changing. If it’s a bigger change from the result of several small changes, celebrate that too.

Why I am interested in behavior change.

A Little Background

In college I studied the behavior patterns of people in groups through the discipline of Sociology. After graduation I found myself working with children of all ages providing various levels of behavior training and interventions (for more on my background read my About page). Years later I am still working with children to help them improve their social interactions and behaviors.

Lately, however, I’m not just working with children on their behaviors. I am working on my own behaviors as well. In 2017 I went through Michael Hyatt’s goal setting course for the first time. Through this course I realized the importance of not only setting goals for my life, but also for focused behavior change to help me make progress towards my goals.

Where I Am Now

In my recent career pivot into the world of Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA), I have learned the principles of behavior and behavior change. With the goal setting course to guide my yearly planning and a job that is focused on behavior training, I am now more aware of the effects of intentional growth versus learned behaviors.

I started this blog to reach out to others that might be where I was before my goal setting journey – stuck and discouraged. I hope I can also be a motivation to folks that want more understanding of how our behavior impacts our situation.

My Why

Last week’s post mentioned the importance of giving yourself time to understand the why when you are pursuing a goal.  The why is the deeper reason that you are facing this goal or overcoming your fear to do something big.

As I am encouraging you all to dig deep into why you want to change, I wanted to explain to you why I care so much about behavior change:

Our behavior has a big impact on our life. As mentioned in the post, Why is Behavior Change Important for Personal Growth?, our behaviors can propel us forward or keep us stuck and without momentum. There is another piece though. Our behavior in one area of our life impacts our behavior in other areas.

Once I became aware of the first behavior that I wanted to change, it wasn’t long before I found another area that I wanted to change. If you go with the momentum you can make big changes that impact your life in big ways, one step – one behavior change – at a time. I am seeing it happen in my own life.

It is a science I understand. I will never forget the day in high school that my AP Physics teacher looked up at my best friend and I, we were bemused and probably also laughing and somewhat off task, and he sighed and shook his head. He had just tried to explain and show us a cool physics thing and we didn’t get it.

Behavior is not that for me. It grabs my attention and makes me want to understand. I enjoy learning evidence based practices for personal growth that have an impact on behavior. I am also seeking out ways to learn how to use the science of behavior and the principals of learning with adults on the job.

The focus on behavior has been in my path for a long time-maybe that means I have been heading in the right direction, despite being and feeling stuck for so long!

That’s it! I hope that list helps you understand some of why I created this blog. I hope we can join together in this behavior change journey!

Before you go…Which category do you see yourself in?

A) I feel stuck and/or discouraged in the direction of my life.

B) I’m wondering how my behavior affects my current situation.

c) I’m here for something different.

 Put A, B, or C in the comments section. If it’s C, tell me what it is you’re here for. 

We are already acting in ways that determine our future. However, we are often not aware of what we are doing. All of our actions are behaviors. We have used those behaviors to form habits. Sometimes we have created really great habits that will propel our lives forward. Other times we have unintentionally created habits that will keep us stuck and drain our momentum. Let’s look at why behavior change is important for personal growth.

Behavior and it’s Effects

If it is something we are doing, it is a behavior.

Sometimes our learned behaviors don’t serve us in the way we would like.

Think about how much of our financial situation is based on our behavior. Consider how much of our struggle with reaching a healthy weight or growing in our spirituality is based on our behavior. Even our success or failure in a particular job or relationship is based on our behavior.

Behavior Change Important for Personal Growth

In my journey to set goals that I will actually keep, I am learning that a lot of my success or failure in meeting goals are affected by my behavior. What am I doing to make it more likely that I meet the goals I set? I am learning to look critically at my actions and seek ways to improve my behaviors.

Tips for Taking a Step to Change Your Behavior

These tips might seem incredibly basic, but sometimes I think we make things too complicated.

2 Aspects of Behavior Change:

1. All the change shouldn’t happen at once.

If one habit takes 66, or more, days to become ingrained we should limit the changes we  focus on.

2. Give yourself time to understand the why.

When you are setting a behavior goal/trying to build a new habit, it’s important to slow down and understand the why.

Now, let’s unpack these aspects.

Change Takes Time

Changing behavior takes time. It is a fast world we live in, but if you want to change your behavior or build new habits give yourself time.

If you want to build a new habit, the average number of days that it takes to build a new habit is 66 days. It might take less than 66 days, but it also might take more than 66 days (based on a research article by Dr. Phillippa Lally on habit formation).

If we take on too many behaviors at once we are more likely to fall off the behavior-change-wagon.

Understand The Why

The last time I set a health goal and did not take the time to understand why the changes were important, I didn’t achieve what I wanted to achieve. I wanted to take the fast track. I made a goal to establish the new habits without a deeper understanding of why my habit changes would be important.

Instead of going somewhere and accomplishing my health goal, I fell off the behavior-change-wagon…after a day or two. I did not take time to understand the why.

Summary

In Conclusion, our habits can either move us forward or keep us stuck. To continue to grow we need to look at our behaviors and their effects. If we are trying to change our behaviors we need to remember 2 things. 1) Take it slow. 2) Understand why the change is important.

If you’re focused on behavior change and personal growth give me an “I’m in” in the comments below.

Behavior Challenge: Think of a goal that you have or a goal that you want to set. Dig deep into why this goal is important to you. If you have already identified a “why” for your goal, go back and revisit your “why” to help you keep up your motivation.

_________________________________

Read more on Habit Formation:

How Habits are Formed | Beginners Guide

3 Reasons to Change Your Bad Habit