When I focused on the negative, all that I lacked, I made my problem bigger. When I consistently focused on negative thoughts, all that I didn’t have, I gave those thoughts power. The negative thoughts gained power in my life when they had a constant presence in my mind. Negativity affected my ability to gain clarity.

What do we mean when we say we want clarity? In my journey it meant that I wanted a clear path and a clear destination. Why did I want that clear path and clear destination? I wanted certainty that I was heading in the right direction. I wanted to feel like I knew where I was going and how to get there.

The most obvious area that I wanted clarity in was my career. Yet, as I started to look at the course of my life I realized that I also needed clarity on what goals to pursue. I needed clarity on what kinds of goals I should set and why.

In reflecting on my life, I notice that the times where I felt the most disconnected from any progress in my life were also the times I gave negativity free reign in my mind. I unknowingly got caught in the negativity trap.

The negativity trap

What is the negativity trap? Here are some insights based on my own experience and observations. We let in one negative thought about our situation and we don’t let it go or reframe it. Once that negative thought is running around our brain, unsupervised so to speak, it can lead to more and more negative thoughts. The negativity trap can even make you feel bad for thinking negative thoughts, which leads to negative thoughts about yourself. This is the trap.

Let’s break the negativity trap down more. The more the negative thoughts have free reign in our mind, the more power they gain. We believe those thoughts. When we start to believe the negative thoughts, their power grows. When the negative thoughts gain power they slowly drown out our clarity.

How does it drown out our clarity? This is what I’ve experienced. When I was in the negativity trap I grew more and more uncertain. Uncertain that I made the right decisions, uncertain that my life could make a difference, uncertain that I had the courage it would take to make the big changes, uncertain that I could even figure out the next step.

In my case, I stayed focused on all that I didn’t have instead of being thankful for all I did have. Instead of learning to use what I had in positive ways I focused on all that I wasn’t able to do because of all that I lacked.

Negativity affected my ability to gain clarity. I finally realized what my negative thoughts were doing and I learned to let positivity grow instead. I added a couple practices to my life: reframing my negative thoughts and writing down affirmations. In looking at the positive I started to gain more clarity.

Positivity affects clarity

Positivity affects clarity because we break free from the trappings of negative thoughts. When free of negative thoughts, we can slowly begin to see what is possible.

For me, I grew more certain when I focused on the positive. Certain that I could weigh the pros and cons of important decisions. Certain that I could find a career that embraced my meaning and purpose. Certain that I had the courage to make big changes. Certain that the next step was in sight.

I started being grateful for my experiences and thinking about how I could use what I know. I recognized that I had more than I thought I did and I sought ways to use what I had.

When we are grateful and look at the world and ourselves in a positive manner we clear the path and make way for our destination to emerge. I gain clarity as I grow more positive.

Focus on clarity

In this post I have shared my experience with a lack of clarity being tied to falling into the negativity trap. Negativity affected my ability to gain clarity.

I think it’s important to state that I don’t expect myself to never have a negative thought. However, when do, I am more able to stop myself from getting caught up in it and falling into the one negative thought after the other trap.

I use the practices mentioned above to prime myself for that which maintains a positive outlook. I also have guidance from my faith.

What do you think? Does the way we think and speak affect how we see the future?

There is no magic answer to finding clarity. It takes work.  Read more of what I have written on clarity in the following posts:

2 Ways to Cope When You Don’t Know the End Goal

How to Start Creating a Career Plan When You Lack Clarity

Have you ever caught yourself saying or thinking something negative towards yourself?

I’m not good at ___.

I’m too old/young for ___.

I never know what to do.

Every time we think or speak such a statement we set limits on ourselves.

We create barriers made of our negative and limiting thoughts.

A limiting belief is a belief that we hold about ourselves, others, or the world that creates a barrier between our desire to change and our ability to act on that change.

If your go-to thought is rooted in negativity, doubt, or fear you will end up stuck. Those thoughts become deep rooted and automatic. They are barriers to progress and success.

This is why we should care. Negative thoughts and limiting thoughts are barriers that keep us from moving forward and doing great things!

Knock down the barriers with positive and empowering thoughts.

The best part about discovering your limiting beliefs is realizing that you can change how your mind views them. They don’t have to stay negative thoughts that hold you back. You can reframe them and use them as motivation.

I’m not good at ___.  —->  I am learning ___.

I’m too old/young for ___. —->  I am experienced/I have new insights and I can add value.

I never know what to do. —-> I might sometimes feel uncertain, but I have done ___ in the past, and I can do ___ now.

These are just a few examples of how this process can go. Try it out!

They don’t call it a limiting belief for nothing.

I’m not a master at focusing on the positive thoughts over the limiting beliefs, but I can tell when I am remembering the positive thoughts and when I am focused on a limiting belief.

Just the other day I was talking to a friend and out popped a limiting belief. That limiting belief flew out of my mouth without hesitation. As soon as I heard my friend’s response, I knew I had spoken a limiting belief. I quickly rephrased my statement.

We all give in to our negative thoughts. The first step to overcoming those limiting beliefs is to notice when we are leaning on a limiting belief. When we are letting limiting beliefs keep us from progress.

It can be a real struggle to overcome those ingrained negative beliefs. Maybe it will be easy for some of you. If you’re like me, however, I believed all those negative thoughts for so long that recalling them became a force of habit-a habit that I needed to break.

Breaking bad habits isn’t easy, but there comes a time when it must be done.

Are you with me?

Questions: What makes a thought a limiting belief? Can you identify your top 3 limiting beliefs?

Behavior Challenge: When you catch yourself speaking or thinking a limiting belief, reframe it right then and there. Share your story in the comments by clicking the post title or here.

Please comment with any thoughts or questions related to this post.

Resources: I first heard about limiting beliefs and liberating truths from Michael Hyatt, the former CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishers and now online leadership mentor. He speaks about limiting beliefs and liberating truths in his online goal setting course Your Best Year Ever.

For an online resource directly related to limiting beliefs you can go here.

There are many different ways to spend your money or time. Consider all the activities and purchases you have made in the last year. How many were focused on personal growth? Investing in yourself will often come last if we don’t intentionally make it happen. Our minds are focused on other things.

I was focused on financial, nutritional, health and fitness, and career stressors. I focused on my spiritual growth and building up a group of supportive friends. Yet an area that was lacking was personal growth.

I sent all my resources to survival.

Yet here’s the thing. I couldn’t really survive when I didn’t invest in myself. When I didn’t see Mary Blacklock as worth buying a $20 self-help book for (I had bills to pay!) I was unintentionally holding myself back. Buying those kinds of items, financial or career focused books, weren’t even considered. I was too lost in my stress and struggle.

When a big opportunity for personal growth came by, I was almost too scared to take it. I had already convinced myself that I was too far behind in life…that even if I had the money to invest in myself, it wouldn’t be worth it.

But I was wrong! That investment in myself was huge-it led me to my current path.

It sparked a desire in me to invest in myself more and more.

Investing in oneself is vastly important. As I reflect on the journey I’ve made, I’d love to share with you some of my thoughts on why personal growth is important.

• We pay for our academic education and personal growth is education of self. We spend a large amount of money on college or go into debt for our academic self, but we make excuses for why we can’t spend money when it comes to a large personal investment. Even when it will perhaps change our way of thinking and increase our happiness.

• You never know where investing in yourself will lead. When we invite ourselves to take in the wisdom of others through their books, podcasts, art, lectures, etc., we are inviting ourselves to begin a journey.

• Investing in yourself can help you balance your life. There are so many areas that we can learn and grow in. The areas that you are struggling with the most right now are the areas where you have the opportunity to grow.

Please comment below with any thoughts or questions related to this post.

Questions: Do you make an intentional effort to invest in yourself regularly and in different areas of life? Do you see an area that you might need to focus your investment on more intentionally?